To Malibu….and beyond!

It’s been a gruelling last couple months. Time goes by so slow because I know how close I really am. Looking back, I can honestly say I’m distraught that this experience is nearly over. It’s been trying and so I’m relieved to be going home but I know I will always miss this. I’m so scared to go back to the real world. What if I didn’t change? what if I will always be that lazy, self brutalizing little girl I was before this year? What if I regret the changes I’ve made and want to go back to my old life? So many things to stress about, so little time! Haha. For now, I’m just excited to be close to the finish line. Before this program, I made a pact with myself that if I failed this and quit like I do everything else….I’m worth nothing and am a lost cause. Sounds harsh but apparently it worked. Lol. The sense of accomplishment I will get on graduation day will, undoubtedly, be the most intense I’ve ever felt in my life. I just hope that will continue. Obviously, at some point, I will need to gain some confidence in myself. Lol. It’s hard not to expect myself to be the same that I’ve always been. I’m working on it though! Anyways, in less than a month I will be going to my beautiful sister’s wedding. I am so excited. I have dreamt about this day for all of us girls my whole life. More them than me but still. the pictures will obviously be posted later on. I just wish I had a certain date…..to go with me….but nooooo! I’ll rock that party single like the good ol’ days. Hehe. I really am filled with joy to see my family and friends again. I will be in Cali for most of  August and can’t wait to catch up with everyone before I move. I still can’t believe I’m leaving. On to a bigger and better adventure, I suppose. No looking back.

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